glad-hand
verb; informal, often disapproving

- To greet someone warmly, especially when the friendliness is insincere

- To shake hands with numerous people at a political or public event

- As a noun, an enthusiastic but often hypocritical welcome or greeting

Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, Collins English Dictionary, American Heritage Dictionary

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PHRASE ORIGIN

"Glad hand" emerged in American English during the 1890s. The earliest securely recorded expression is give someone the glad hand, dating from 1895 and meaning to offer a warm welcome. The compound verb glad-hand appeared by 1903.

Both elements are much older Germanic words. Old English glæd meant bright, shining, cheerful or gracious; hand comes from Old English hand or hond. A glad hand was therefore literally the hand of a cheerful welcome.

The expression soon acquired an ironic edge. A politician, salesman or social climber could distribute identical smiles and handshakes so freely that the warmth seemed manufactured. That suspicion remains built into glad-handing: the hand may be sincere, but dictionaries advise us to inspect the smile.

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GET A GRIP

A handshake looks simple. Two hands meet, they move up and down, and everyone smiles. But anyone who has shaken many hands knows they come in many strange types:

- The Dead Fish. You offer your hand and receive something cold, soft and lifeless. You want to give it back to the sea.

- The Bone Crusher. This person wants you to know they are strong, successful and probably own a boat. You leave with a smile on your face and tears in your eyes.

- The Pump. Up, down, up, down. Are we saying hello or trying to bring water out of a well?

- The Politician uses two hands. One shakes yours, and the other holds your arm, as if you might run away. You might.

- The Endless Shaker simply does not stop. Ten seconds pass. Twenty. You start to wonder if you are now related.

- The Fingertip Grab catches only the ends of your fingers, like a nervous Victorian lady. It is polite, but nobody is happy.

Finally, there is the Sweaty Palm. Enough said.

So what is the perfect handshake? Firm but friendly, short but sincere, and dry. Then just let go.

Helga & Paul Smith

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SYNONYMS

court, cultivate, fawn over, GLAD-HAND, schmooze, work the room

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SMUGGLE OWAD into a conversation today, say something like:

“He spent the reception GLAD-HANDING potential investors rather than listening to the speeches.”

____________________

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