double bind
noun phrase

- a situation in which a person is confronted with two irreconcilable demands or a choice between two undesirable courses of action

- a psychological predicament in which a person receives from a single source conflicting messages that allow no appropriate response to be made

- a situation in which a person must choose between equally unsatisfactory alternatives; a punishing and inescapable dilemma.

Oxford Languages / Merriam-Webster / The American Heritage Dictionary

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PHRASE ORIGIN

The term "double bind" comes from the field of psychology. It was introduced by Gregory Bateson and his colleagues in the 1950s. Essentially, it refers to a situation where a person receives conflicting or contradictory messages, and no matter how they respond, they can't win. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, where whatever you do seems wrong.

This concept is often used to explain certain types of complex and challenging relationships or situations, particularly in psychology and communication studies.

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In simple terms, a double bind is like being given two conflicting instructions, making it impossible to satisfy both demands simultaneously. This can lead to confusion, frustration, and a feeling of being trapped in an unwinnable situation.

- “You must act natural." This paradoxical injunction implies that you should behave spontaneously and authentically, but by commanding it, you're not really acting naturally.

- “Calm down right now!" Telling someone to calm down immediately can make them feel more anxious, as they may struggle to control their emotions on command.

- “Put that problem out of your mind!” When you're told not to think about something, like a pressing problem, you end up thinking about it even more — the order actually makes the problem worse.

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SYNONYMS

between Scylla and Charybdis (a rock and a hard place, the devil and the deep blue sea, the hammer and the anvil, two stools), catch-22 (situation), conflict of interest, conundrum, damned if you do—damned if you don't, dilemma, DOUBLE BIND, double trouble, hobson's choice, in a bind (a dilemma, a fix, a hot spot, a jam, a pickle, a quandary, a tight corner, deep water), inescapable paradox, no-win situation, on the horns of a dilemma (the spot), paradox, perplexity, predicament, quandary, tight spot, trilemma, triangular dilemma, two-way dilemma

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SMUGGLE OWAD into a conversation, say something like:

“Tom is in a DOUBLE BIND. He's been offered a high-paid job in Saudi Arabia but his wife says she won't move.”

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